D is for Doubt

Exactly four weeks until judgment day…

…and for the very first time, I’m starting to get nervous. Every training cycle has its ups and downs. As runners we all have amazingly endorphin riddled dream runs and we also have those shitty never ending death marches. The past eight weeks I have been coasting along with seemingly no hiccups. I haven’t had any wrenches thrown at my feet aside from a predictably unpredictable Ohio winter. I’ve been feeling strong, capable and blindly ambitious. I had not one doubt in my head that I could finish 13.1 miles.

All of that came to a crashing halt on Saturday.

Saturday was my long run of nine miles, the longest I’ve ever run. I hate to admit this but it was a struggle. I am chalking it up to the fact that I was sick Thursday and Friday and was still on the rebound. With less than stellar health and not to mention caloric intake, it was hardly the ideal setup.

By mile six I could barely maintain a 10 minute mile. That’s kind of an issue when your goal pace is 9:05. I really had to dig deep to hang in there and that scared me. How could I maintain with four more miles to go? What if I feel this crappy on race day? Where the hell did this cramp come from? Why didn’t I pee before I left? Where the hell is a water fountain? What is this bum smoking? Do you think he’s got some Gatorade? All of these questions were bombarding my brain, riddling me with regret, weakness and worst of all fear. Because shit, if I can’t stick it out now…I’m toast.

This week will be better. It must be better.

Fingers crossed this is the last negative post for awhile. Let’s get back to pumped up, running is love, I will dominate this Jess. K? I kind of miss her.

 

Week 8 mileage: 21.1 miles

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